Letters to a Peninsula
by Synthetic Cake
Summary: It's coming to lay off time again, and Nova Scotia is bored. Can you amuse this Canadian province with your letters? Rated for...well, she's a previous colony of France. And drunk.
1. Chapter 1

_The camera turns on to reveal a typical bedroom - white walls, a window with what looks like an inverted Scottish flag as a curtain, and wood flooring. Someone is moving around the camera - causing it to first zoom in a can of _Alexander Keith's_ brand beer, then on a redheaded young woman._

"Hey there, Nova Scotia here! I've seen a lot of people 'round here doing that letter thing...so I'm joinin' in."

_She pauses and takes a swig from her drink. When she sets it down, there is a bit of a more prominant flush over her cheeks._

"If you all don't know who I am, I'm one of Canada's provinces. Say you start at British Columbia's house, right? Keep going east...east...eaaast. Then you stop at Ontario's house, and Canada's house lives right next door, right? Keep going east. Past the poutine bastard's...er...past Quebec's house. You'll probably first hit New Brunswick's place first. That's my sister's place. Stay on the mainland. Keep driving onto the pennunsula, and then you've got my place! I live next to my sister, P.E.I, and I share a house with my twin, Cape Breton. Newfoundland-slash-Labrador lives North from me, a bit closer to the North Pole."

_She pauses for a drink again, only to realize that it's empty. She discards the can to the side, and turns back to the camera._

"Bet yer thinkin', 'why is this bitch telling me all this stuff!'...well, I find the Maritimes...no, the Atlantics, are severely overlooked. We're seen as a bunch of lazy drunks, who rely on the government's money. Well, guess what! The Atlantic region relies mostly on fishing and farming...which are _seasonal_! Goddammit, Ontario, you jerkass _America_ of Canada! We're not lazy! We're provinces too!"

_Nova Scotia heaves a sigh and flops back in her seat. She looks a bit upset for a moment, then smiles again - as if she's forgotten her fit._

"Anyway, the point of this is...I want to make m'self more well known to the world. If I get to tell of England, it just makes things better."

_She gives a playful wink._

"So...send in your messages...and I'll probably get to them about once a week. Give me something to do! It's almost snowfall season, so I can't do much on the docks anymore!"


	2. Maximumride123  1

**From Maximumride123:**

_Hello! It's nice to meet you!_  
><em>So I just found this story, and I figured why not? <em>  
><em>So it's nice to meet the province I live in. And it's a fucking awesome<em>  
><em>province to! I'll kick the crap out of any one who says differently!<em>  
><em>So how are you? I hope you're not to depressed, considering what the 6th<em>  
><em>was...<em>  
><em>Well I don't really have anything else to say, so bye!<em>

* * *

><p>Dear Maximumride123,<p>

Maximum Ride, eh? That's a James Patterson book, right? I've flipped through those books, but the comic books are a lot more interesting soo...eeh.  
>It's nice to meet you, though. And I am the most awesome province! Much better than that Pepsi, Quebec, or that egomaniac Ontario! And unlike a certain other "awesome" perfect, I have my own landmass, so-<br>What?  
>...No way!<br>Cape Breton told me that apparently Prussia is a micronation now! What the Hell! When did this happen...? April! Why was I not informed!  
>*sighs* Anyway, I was kind of depressed on the sixth. But then I got drunk and...eeh, I'm still kind of upset about it. Boston liked his tree this year, so I guess that's all that really matters.<p>

May your Keith's never empty,  
>Nova Scotia~<p> 


	3. Crazy4Reading 1

**A/N: In behalf of Mainland, I apologize for the lengthiness. I'm sorry I haven't been updating In Between in such a long time. My cat bent the charger for my laptop, rendering it completely useless and unable to take a charge. I'm hoping to get it fixed soon, but money is tight, so don't expect any updates on that story for a while - due to the fact that I have a half-finished chapter saved on the computer. Sorry about all that...**

* * *

><p><strong>From Crazy4Reading:<strong>

_Hello! I was just wondering how do you get along with the other provinces? Other countries?_

_I wish i could think of more to ask but I have no idea what to add..._

_I hope your well!_

_Crazy4Reading_

* * *

><p>Dear Crazy4Reading,<p>

Ah! That's a question that's bound to be a bit lengthy, so maybe it was better that you just asked that question, heheh…

I'll start with my sisters – the Atlantics. I get along best with my twin sister, Cape Breton. She's a very down-to-earth person, and she's always saving my but when I do something stupid. That said, she relies on me almost completely since her island has fallen on some hard times with money. One of her mills shut down or something. I get along alright with Prince Edward Island, although she can be a bit grumpy when I go round her place drunk. She has this weird talent in which whenever she throws a potato, it always hits me. It kind of hurts. Newfoundland scares me a little bit. She hasn't been quite the same since she was nearly killed during World War II. I think she has some sort of split personality or something. We get along pretty well most of the time, making stupid jokes and stuff, but one time she pinned me down and tries to stab me to death with a spoon. The last of the Atlantics is New Brunswick…I don't spend much time with her, but she's a sweet gal.

Moving on to the rest of Canada. Quebec is alright…I owned a piece of him during my years of Acadia. He makes good poutine, although he always stinks of cigarettes and he throws a fit sometimes because there isn't enough French in this country. I can't stand Ontario, honestly. He's really done nothing but screw me over throughout the years. He treats me like an annoying younger sister, although I'm about the same age as him, and he just loooves to cut funding for anything that goes on in Atlantic Canada. Not to mention he thinks he's freaking New York or something.

The prairies – Alberta, Manitoba, Saskatchewan…I don't really communicate with them much. I don't know if they even know I exist. I've said this before, but to most people think the nation of Canada ends with Quebec. They don't notice the true Canadian spirit in the most eastern parts! I don't know much about British Columbia, or the territories, either. They kind of seem to be their own world way out there. British Columbia does offer some good "stuff" though…if you know what I mean~

Moving on to countries…the closest I can get for parents are Scotland and the Republic of Ireland. In fact, my twin sister and I remember some versions of Gaelic that Scotland and Ireland have long forgotten! Can you believe that! My sis and I – perhaps my sister more than me – are very proud of where we originally come from, even though Scotland and Ireland have long abandoned us.

I see France as my papa. He raised me back when I was known as Acadia. He was nice to me, until he just left when England won the rights to me. *sighs* Life as a province…

Lastly, I have kind of a love-hate relationship with England. He was in charge of _le Grand Dérangement,_ or the Acadian Expulsion, as it's known for you English speakers. He deported and killed many of my Acadians, because they would not conform to his English ways or chose between France and England if a war came to be. Of course, this resulted in the creation of New Orleans-*coughs and blushes* Which resulted in some tenseness between America and I. I always seem to help America when something goes wrong, though. Like in 1999, when an American plane crashed in the ocean just off one of my coasts. There weren't any survivors, but my people and I were more than happy - well, _happy_ isn't the best word given the circumstances, but willing – to waste time and resources trying to find the bodies.

Anyway, back to England. I kind of resent him a bit for what happened, but I didn't feel I really had to leave him to become a Canadian province. On the day that I joined Confederation, a lot of people considered that a "death" of the old Nova Scotian/English values in Canada. I'm not sure if that's true.

Sorry for the lengthy answer! I hope you're willing for a good read!

May your Keith's never empty,

Mainland Nova Scotia~


	4. Guest BC 1

_Hey, uh, Nova Scotia, right? It's BC. So I was talking to Ontario earlier_  
><em> (not by choice. Geeze, is he ever NOT annoying?) about trying to catch the<em>  
><em> Ogopogo (I swear it's not a hallucination this time!), and he said you could<em>  
><em> probably help with that. Would you be interested? It's fine if you say no, I<em>  
><em> can probably get Japan to help if you can't. Also, I realized a little while<em>  
><em> ago that I know pretty much nothing about all of you out East. Why do you guys<em>  
><em> have milk in bags? I mean if the bag gets stabbed by a pencil or something<em>  
><em> then everything spills out and it's kind of stupid if you ask me but I have no<em>  
><em> idea. Also, I heard that people speak French outside of Quebec. Pretty much no<em>  
><em> one speaks French over here, so I was wondering if it's just as common to hear<em>  
><em> French as it is English over there (kind of like how at my place, Chinese<em>  
><em> languages are pretty common)? Ugh I feel so clueless.<em>

_ Well, I'm sorry for making you put up with my idiotic psychobabble. I must_  
><em> seem pretty annoying, huh?<em>

_ the beautiful British Columbia_

* * *

><p>Dear British Columbia,<p>

Hello, BC! Nice to talk to you! Yeah, I could probably help with catching the Ogopogo with you. I'm always chasing after wendigoes, so it can't be that much different, right?

As for the milk bags…I'm honestly surprised you guys don't have milk bags. I thought it was a stereotype of the big man Canada himself? Eh, I don't know. We don't just use milk bags. Milk is also available in cartons and jugs like the rest of the world, so people can choose depending on their preference. Milk bags use less plastic than cartons and jugs, so they're actually better for the environment. Not better than, say, glass jugs, but good nonetheless. It's also easier to freeze milk in bags(you know, for making home-made drinks or something!), and we can re-use the bags for sandwiches or whatever, too. Apart from that…I'm not really sure of the actual reason, though!

As for the French….well, there is quite a bit of French being spoken here in Nova Scotia. It's mostly near Acadian-dense areas. I've heard a lot of French being spoke in Auld's Cove, near where my sister lives. There's a lot of Gaelic being learned, too, although the language nearly died out some years ago with the work of Canada, Ontario, and England. *hmph!*

Anyway, I didn't mind talking to you. You're not annoying at all! Annoying is being hit with a potato whenever I get too loud and tick PEI off! Hahaha!

May your Keith's never empty,

Mainland Nova Scotia~


End file.
